Mission Possible

The Mission: Travel to Atlanta, gather information, return to Columbus,
disseminate information.
The cast: Neeraj & Alan - Captains of the ship; Todd and Paul - Engineers;
Brian - Logistics officer; Mark - King Quality; Derek - Historian; and me -
House Mom & Documentation Diva.
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There are many cliches that I could channel right now, but the one that
best encompasses this trip is - You never really know someone until you
travel with them.

Let's start with Alan. Always appears put together, crisp white shirts.
Winter finds him dressed equally as dapper. Alan is a project manager, who
can pick up the scraps of a project, put them into pieces and put the
pieces together to make the picture. So why would he (he who works in the
technology field) not check in online and avoid bottle neck #1 AND hand the
ticket agent an EXPIRED DRIVER'S LICENSE? If you know Alan, ask him about
his driver's license and airport security...

Note, there's no mention of the missing Crackberry.
We all take our seats in the Daddy Van - Captain Neeraj at the controls as
we wind our way out of the Avis parking lot. Garmin is plugged in and Brian
gets out the supplemental instructions, furnished by Al Al.

King Quality and I are in seat number 2. As those in charge of quality, one
of our primary tasks is to create user stories and test cases. Indulge me
for a moment as we savor the ability to watch those who don't write and
execute test cases become the object of our testing.

Starting Condition: Competent adults with above-average processors and one
vehicle with which to transport us.

One automated test (Garmin) and an alternative path. At the starting gate,
Neeraj declares some of the initial constraints - vehicle has sustained
damage prior to our test case. Beginning constraints so noted, Neeraj
announces our first change request: He's going to drive like an 80 year old
man.

This had an immediate impact on the test case. We're at the first check
point in the case, a stop sign.
IF USER SELECTS LEFT
Then continue on success path to next checkpoint
ELSE
Take user on a driving tour of Atlanta Airport

Turns out the 80 year old driver - aka primary actor - aka Captain Neeraj -
did not see the, "All outbound traffic turn left" sign. I can understand
that though, as an 80 year old may have difficulty seeing the 4 foot by 7
foot sign positioned 20 feed straight ahead of the stopped vehicle.

Defect count: 1
Severity - Minor
Impact - Incredibly humorous story with life cycle of at least one year.
Remainder of alternate test case completed without incident.
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We arrive at our destination, partake in introductions, receive a brief
orientation and settle down for an afternoon of discovery. Discovery being
a double entendre. We discover business culture in a rehabbed warehouse -
dog friendly.

We discovered that the climate of where your home office is drives the
definition of business casual.

Columbus Ohio - rolling into the fall season - all appendages aptly
protected.
Atlanta Georgia - Dude, it's shorts and T-shirt weather, 3/4 of the year.
Costa Rica - Tropics, tans and skin is in.

The different variations in garments caused some issues. Fortunately we had
no fatal errors, although we had some processor performance issues at
times. Some processors halted function and needed a swift kick to refocus -
otherwise known as the reboot.

Our hosts were gracious enough to provide lunch for us - Pizza from Papa
Johns. Nationally known pizza for lunch sparked the search for dinner. This
is where Mark, King Quality takes over our process.

When Mark came to our company, he came with a stellar record - Only one
major production defect in many years of quality responsibility.
This my casual readers, translates to a keen eye for detail and a very
strict definition of what constitutes quality.

So what do we do? Collectively we allow him to select our location for
evening dining. Channeling Rachel Ray, he comes up with the Atlanta Fish
Market.

When anyone asked who Rachel Ray was, his response was to direct us to her
Traveling on $40 per day show on Food Network. I'm not sure what show Mark
was watching when the fish market was mentioned, but the $40 in this case
was per entree per person, definitely not the per day per person that was
advertised.

So back to RBX in Suite 100 with it's men in shorts and T-shirts and it's
women from Costa Rica...

We made it through the first day of our meetings. As previously mentioned
Alan, Todd and Paul have been in town since Monday. Monday saw the three
gentlemen enjoying an ocular induced synapsis circus, which created some
issues trying to write to the cranial database.
Having not yet experienced Costa Rican Couture yet, Mark was still able to
make complex decisions without help. That's when he announced Atlanta's
Fish Market, in Buckhead.

This restaurant came highly recommended by Rachel. The Fish Market embodies
all things fishy, Starting with the huge fish outside. Neeraj had to stay
for another meeting, and would meet us at the restaurant. Therefore, Brian
Hemker received the keys.

Minor Performance Issue #1 - Insert key fob, not key to start the vehicle.
Minor performance issue #2 - Red means STOP
We made it to the hotel - fell out of the daddy van and checked in with
plans to regroup for dinner.
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Being a part of an employee owned company at times is like being a member
of an extended family. This was quite evident when the check came. Those
who didn't turn to look at Neeraj were looking at Alan, who gave in and
took the check. I'm not sure who's responsible but the silence of sticker
shock was broken when someone muttered, "Who's going to tell Dad? (Bart)"
This question turned the table into a Life Cereal commercial. "I'm not
going to tell him, let Brian tell him. I'm not going to tell him, Neeraj
has a call into him...."
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Thursday at Roundbox

Thursday we met with our Roundbox counterparts, this included their QA
lead, Amber. After some heavy questioning from Mark, he was able to coax
her into admitting that there really isn't a QA process. She suggested that
we may want to try to initiate some processes.

I figured it was time to lighten the mood, I asked Amber if she giggles in
the airport knowing that she's flying back home to an island paradise while
the vacationers are heading north.

As kindly as she could, she stated that Costa Rica isn't an island. Hoping
to save me from major humiliation she adds - but it has beautiful water on
each side. Have you ever seen a dog perk it's ears and cock it's head when
he doesn't understand? That must have been exactly what I looked like
because I was now surrounded by laptops with different maps of Central
America.

Then, in a slight of hand effort to gauge the intelligence of his test
team, Mark turns to me and asks, "Can you show me where the Panama Canal
is?" I am exceptionally proud to say, "I'm smarter than a fifth grader!"
Once it was determined that all information had been shared, the great game
of Where's Dinner had begun again. For three hours it was, "I don't care,
where do you want to go?" All of us that was except Alan. Alan was
furiously pacing the floor, "Fish Market, Fish Market, Al Al wants Fish
Market.

Neeraj gently took Alan aside and reminded him that one trip to the fish
market will be difficult to explain. Explaining it a second time will land
us in the principal's office without a doubt.

It was finally decided that Mexico was the country of choice. Maitre'd Mark
found Nuevo Laredo Cantina. A "Mexican cafe featuring home cooked Mexican
food." Thursday night the Daddy Van was piloted by Brian, "Lane Change"
Hemker. Shotgun was occupied by Al-Al.

Al-Al is QSI's answer to Tom-Tom. Although the system is in pre-production
testing, we made it to the Cantina with minimal set backs.
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If polled 95% of those asked would tell you that traffic in Atlanta is
pretty much grid locked at any given time. This situation never once made
Brian (I can move left through 5 lens of traffic within one mile - never
giving it a second thought) Hemker.

The grid lock dexterity has earned Brian the Title of Logistics Leprechaun.
To equate him with Lucky Charms may be a stretch - but if you need an on
time arrival, he's the one you can count on.

Back to Al-Al, who unlike Garmin, only has one voice...Rainman. We think
this became his programmed voice when he was suggesting the Fish Market for
dinner again. One defect in the pre-production model of Al-Al is it's fair
warning setting. Garmin has a fair warning setting of at least a mile, "In
.6 miles, turn left on Northside Blvd NW." Where Al-Al will say, "Turn
Left...you missed it, turn around."

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When in Mexico, one drinks like a tourist...Pitchers of Margaritas were plentiful (2).

We sat at our table and no sooner had the first butt hit it's chair than the chips and salsa arrived.  We began reading the menu and were doing the thing all ordering groups do, "What are you getting?"  This is basically a sniff test - is anyone going to get something better than what you're getting? 

As it turned out, we each got something different.  Again, we were able to eat minimal chips as our food arrived in what seemed like 10 minutes.  My guess is that there are hidden microphones somewhere and when we think we're just polling the table, our food orders are being sent to the kitchen. 

The food was incredible, so much so that Al-Al has changed his tune.  Now Al-Al wants to meet the Chiquita Banana girl.  Carmen Miranda look out!!  This dinner cannot equal the adventure going home.  First we pass Kroger.  This is where we decided to stop for hair gel.