Boil Water

At the risk of sounding like I'm just the best cook around, there are a couple of things I do very well.  I can bake a cheesecake that people actually pay me for.  I can bake Oatmeal cookies that are to die for.  I make a mean spaghetti and have been known to be called an ace with Hamburger Helper. 

I can't though - boil water.  That's not completely true.  I can boil water and turn it into Mrs. Grass Chicken Noodle Soup.  I can boil water to cook pasta in.  I can boil water for the sake of cooking anything BUT eggs. 

Speaking of eggs, I've mastered the over-easy - look no spatula flip.  I can make a mean omelette,  I even taught my daughter how to scramble an egg.  Imagine my surprise when I flunked Hard Cooked eggs 101.

In the past month, I've been hard cooking my eggs so the kids can have a good snack when they get home.  Those egg yolks were bright yellow, but not quite done, so the yolk wasn't completely solid.  But also of note, there wasn't green ick all around the yolk either. 

Figuring that I was so close to perfect once, I'll be able to do it again, I read over my Emeril recipe for Fail-Proof hard cooked eggs.  Yes Virginia, there is such a document, and yes, I have more than one copy of it.  So I got out my pan, put the eggs in the bottom, filled it with cool tap water, placed it on the stove and turned the heat to medium as directed.

Once the boil starts, I was to let the eggs cook for 11 minutes, remove from heat and place eggs in a cold water bath to stop the cooking process.  I have a college degree, my chosen field is in IT.  One would think that I would be able to set a kitchen timer to 11 minutes and then stop the cooking process with cold water. 

However, this whole process depends on my hearing that the water is boiling.  I never heard it boil.  In fact, I never heard anything except my exclamation of Oh Shit when I remembered that a watched pot never boils but an unwatched one boils very quietly.  I was able to get to my eggs in time.  In time for what - who knows, but under the faucet they went. 

I'm somewhat proud of myself at this point, providing a nutritious snack for my children.  I take two of my achievements to work for lunch.  I peel the first one around lunch time.  I get a good look at the green ick.  The yolk has no flavor and lots of ick.  Heck, I thought, the egg white is the only part that's good for you anyway...trashed the yolks, ate the white.  It was a struggle to get through all my eggs (six I think) but I made it. 

Then last night saw my attempt to do this again.  Again I forgot one important part, the whole watched pot again.  This time I didn't have time for the casual Oh Shit.  This time I went running into the kitchen to find my eggs lying in the sauce pot, essentially frying. If one can have oysters on the half shell, can we not have eggs in the whole shell? 

I brought my camera into the kitchen to capture my masterpiece for the blog, but there really wasn't anything catastrophic to see besides some green ick and egg whites that are so dense one wonders if this is how they discovered super balls.  I did try it one more time last night.  The dogs had a great dinner, Green Eggs & Dog Kibble.  They were in heaven though, so who am I to tell them I wouldn't even feed these eggs to the dogs, but wait....I DID

Which One?

Without looking at the obvious, what would this candidate do for me, let's look at what they've done. There's a lot of verbiage concerning Sarah Palin and her six figure wardrobe. Ms. Palin, by way of nomination, has found herself in a very awkward place. Wear anything short of fabulous and she gets trash for "what was she thinking?" But spend some extra money to look nice, remember folks it's that suit that will be representative of all of us. Or have the world look at Ms. Palin and state...that's the best we can do?

Likewise, let's look at Mr. IHaveEnoughMoneyToMakeYouWatchThis. He made a very valiant effort to take over our airwaves and thus force feed us his opinion. This reminds me of those governments we fought against...those governments who believe they're big and strong enough to take away our options so that we have no choice other than watching his rhetoric.

So, what's the best for America? Suits that will later be given to those less fortunate so that they can interview for a job with confidence? (Isn't that what SHE is doing?) Or a man who believes he has the right to force his beliefs on us?

This country is based on our individual right to make informed decisions. Didn't the television saturation cover this up?

RE: Sarah's Suits... http://www.dressforsuccess.org/

Sean and his trophy

Sean played his first season of tackle football. He was on the Colorado Buffaloes and they ended up in 4th place overall. He loves his trophy!!

Sean

Going to school in a dark shirt so new blood doesn't show
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Sean

And his nose. Getting closer to normal
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Sean

And his never ending bloody nose.
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Going home...ATL to CMH - no problem?

Friday morning in Atlanta started early.  It wasn't really early for me, rather right on time.  Fortunately the DoubleTree Inn had Wolfgang Puck coffee makers in every room.  When I think of Mr. Puck, my first thought is pizza, not coffee, but coffee it was, Sumatra to be exact.  Being an avid coffee drinker, with cream - I had myself set up early.  Lots of the little one cup packets from the front desk, and a bar tender gave me 8oz of REAL coffee cream, the kind that needs to be refrigerated. 

Andy Rooney once did a bit on Half and Half.  He likes his Shredded Wheat in the morning with Half and Half...I just needed for my coffee, but he marveled at all the chemical sounding items that can be put in a carton that's suppose to be half milk and half cream.  It's those fancy chemicals that take away the need to be refrigerated.  I'm digressing.

Thursday night I had checked in and printed boarding passes for all my traveling companions.  I didn't upgrade seats for $5 each, just printed the boarding passes.  I placed each boarding pass in an envelope to facilitate it's usage.  Little did I know all my work was actually worthless, useless and a regular waste of ink and time.

Off to breakfast I go, thinking someone would join me.  I started with enough tables to seat 8.  As time went on, people sat in my saved tables, but they weren't the people I was saving them for.  I finally gave up and left.  When you're around long enough, the waiter learns your name.  Excuse me Cindi, do you mind if I set the jellies on the tables.  Excuse me...water glasses, silver ware...and No, I wasn't here early enough to help the kitchen cook, just early enough to disrupt the table prep.

Up stairs I went, finished packing my bags, gathering my items and returning downstairs to check out.  As I rounded the corner, guess who I saw?  Everyone who was suppose to "meet me" early in the morning.  Unfortunately I didn't remember to ask what time zone they'll be operating out of.  When they sat for breakfast at 8am, it was really 4am in Hawaii, so technically they were extremely early. 

Whatever, not arguing - after all, it was getting close to nap time for me.  They ate breakfast, we all mumbled about last nights dinner, contemplated what was going to be happening today and what cars were we going to be in.  Pack the cars and off to Roundbox we go.  But wait...Derek is getting a text message.

Holy ISP providers Batman, they pulled the plug.  Seems party B didn't pay party A so party A pulled the plug on innocent bystander C.  No access, no application, no nothing.  Zilch, nada, nothing.  Oh, but wait...what am I seeing?  The Verizon network of course.  You may laugh at the commercial, but when I whip out the broadband card and I'm the only one connected to the virtual world, well - I'm special...half bus special.

No network, no big food decisions, actually no connectivity except for me.  All of a sudden it was good to be me.  For exactly two minutes before my computer was taken over in a bit of Eminent Domain muscle flexing.  So the day crawls along, the clock ticks by - lunch was a big decision now, as there really wasn't a lot to do except troll the Internet for restaurants nearby.  Spoon it was.  Ironically all of the Roundbox folks chose this time to go out for a long and arduous Friday lunch.  The big question now was would they return prior to our departure?

Stay tuned, that was just the beginning of the day...the end of the day is much much longer and well, probably just as minimally exciting.

The Trash Can

A few may have noticed the trash can in the photos from the Atlanta trip.  I promised the those on the trip that my mistakes will be highlighted as well as everyone else. 

So as we're walking down terminal B for the umpteenth time, I decided to be a nice civilian and throw my trash away.  Pushing on the silver area did not open the trash can.  Pulling down the handle didn't open the trash can.  I kept moving though, I didn't want to be the person who was caught wrestling the trash can to the ground.

Then I handed my trash to King Quality and told him that if my inability to throw my trash away was so funny, he could do it.  Mark took my trash, held the handle, opened the trash can and placed my refuse in the proper place.

Fast forward an hour or so, we're watching CNN on the flat screen when we're introduced to the public service announcement.  Mark pointed it out to me.  Evidently he considered this the training video for the complex refuse container.  When the video/commercial was over, he handed me a piece of scrap paper to see how much I learned.

In my defense, the trash cans are also compactors and don't open when they're compacting.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Underdog is here!

Most people who know me, know that I have Perfect Dog.  Well, Perfect Dog is getting old, and I've got two shepherds to soften the blow when he does move onto the Rainbow Bridge.

So as Jake (perfect dog) was sleeping, Argus was lounging and Sadie was exploring.  When Sadie gets herself caught behind a closed door, no one is in a hurry to assist her.  She'll bark and she'll wait.  Then she'll bark again.  Suddenly Argus noticed that she was missing, and barking.

As he lumbered to his feet, Sarah and I suggested to him that he go get Sadie.  We were doing math homework and really didn't think it necessary to save the damsel in distress.  She had other ideas and boofed again. 

That's when Argus perked his ears and went charging up the steps.  Next thing I know they're playing their way down to their favorite wrestling spot in the front room. 

Never fear, Underdog is here!!

Dress Code & Garanimals

Many decades ago, a mom (had to be a mom, dads couldn't come up with this brilliance) created Garanimals.  This allowed children to select matching outfits by matching the animal tags.  All the Giraffes matched, all the hippos matched, etc.

Fast forward to Thursday night.  On our way back to the hotel from the Cantina, we passed the best idea in clothing since Garanimals.  We drove past the Dress Code Warehouse.  Essentially Garanimals for adults.  Please note that nothing in this post is fact except for the stores name. 

As you walk into the store, there's a map of where you can find items.  Alan's corner is in the far back right.  It consists of white cotton button down shirts.  In the far back left corner is the counterpart the the white oxford.  In that corner you'll find the blue oxford button down.  The center aisle contains khaki pants.  All shapes, all sizes, one color.  Khaki.

On the left wall is the Ladies Mix-N-Match.  Her, like Garanimals, you match tags.  Do you want that nifty polyester suit?  Select the 1970's John Travolta tag.  This tagging system comes in very handy for men.  Whether they're purchasing clothes for themselves and don't want tax themselves too much to make things match, or for their significant other, they can be quite impressive bringing home an entire wardrobe of coordinated outfits.

Although we did not have the time to visit the Dress Code Warehouse, and can only speculate what is found within it's walls...From experiencing the dress code that we did, we can't imagine what is in there.  If anyone knows, please let us know.

Mission Possible

The Mission: Travel to Atlanta, gather information, return to Columbus,
disseminate information.
The cast: Neeraj & Alan - Captains of the ship; Todd and Paul - Engineers;
Brian - Logistics officer; Mark - King Quality; Derek - Historian; and me -
House Mom & Documentation Diva.
_______________________________________________
There are many cliches that I could channel right now, but the one that
best encompasses this trip is - You never really know someone until you
travel with them.

Let's start with Alan. Always appears put together, crisp white shirts.
Winter finds him dressed equally as dapper. Alan is a project manager, who
can pick up the scraps of a project, put them into pieces and put the
pieces together to make the picture. So why would he (he who works in the
technology field) not check in online and avoid bottle neck #1 AND hand the
ticket agent an EXPIRED DRIVER'S LICENSE? If you know Alan, ask him about
his driver's license and airport security...

Note, there's no mention of the missing Crackberry.
We all take our seats in the Daddy Van - Captain Neeraj at the controls as
we wind our way out of the Avis parking lot. Garmin is plugged in and Brian
gets out the supplemental instructions, furnished by Al Al.

King Quality and I are in seat number 2. As those in charge of quality, one
of our primary tasks is to create user stories and test cases. Indulge me
for a moment as we savor the ability to watch those who don't write and
execute test cases become the object of our testing.

Starting Condition: Competent adults with above-average processors and one
vehicle with which to transport us.

One automated test (Garmin) and an alternative path. At the starting gate,
Neeraj declares some of the initial constraints - vehicle has sustained
damage prior to our test case. Beginning constraints so noted, Neeraj
announces our first change request: He's going to drive like an 80 year old
man.

This had an immediate impact on the test case. We're at the first check
point in the case, a stop sign.
IF USER SELECTS LEFT
Then continue on success path to next checkpoint
ELSE
Take user on a driving tour of Atlanta Airport

Turns out the 80 year old driver - aka primary actor - aka Captain Neeraj -
did not see the, "All outbound traffic turn left" sign. I can understand
that though, as an 80 year old may have difficulty seeing the 4 foot by 7
foot sign positioned 20 feed straight ahead of the stopped vehicle.

Defect count: 1
Severity - Minor
Impact - Incredibly humorous story with life cycle of at least one year.
Remainder of alternate test case completed without incident.
______________________________________________

We arrive at our destination, partake in introductions, receive a brief
orientation and settle down for an afternoon of discovery. Discovery being
a double entendre. We discover business culture in a rehabbed warehouse -
dog friendly.

We discovered that the climate of where your home office is drives the
definition of business casual.

Columbus Ohio - rolling into the fall season - all appendages aptly
protected.
Atlanta Georgia - Dude, it's shorts and T-shirt weather, 3/4 of the year.
Costa Rica - Tropics, tans and skin is in.

The different variations in garments caused some issues. Fortunately we had
no fatal errors, although we had some processor performance issues at
times. Some processors halted function and needed a swift kick to refocus -
otherwise known as the reboot.

Our hosts were gracious enough to provide lunch for us - Pizza from Papa
Johns. Nationally known pizza for lunch sparked the search for dinner. This
is where Mark, King Quality takes over our process.

When Mark came to our company, he came with a stellar record - Only one
major production defect in many years of quality responsibility.
This my casual readers, translates to a keen eye for detail and a very
strict definition of what constitutes quality.

So what do we do? Collectively we allow him to select our location for
evening dining. Channeling Rachel Ray, he comes up with the Atlanta Fish
Market.

When anyone asked who Rachel Ray was, his response was to direct us to her
Traveling on $40 per day show on Food Network. I'm not sure what show Mark
was watching when the fish market was mentioned, but the $40 in this case
was per entree per person, definitely not the per day per person that was
advertised.

So back to RBX in Suite 100 with it's men in shorts and T-shirts and it's
women from Costa Rica...

We made it through the first day of our meetings. As previously mentioned
Alan, Todd and Paul have been in town since Monday. Monday saw the three
gentlemen enjoying an ocular induced synapsis circus, which created some
issues trying to write to the cranial database.
Having not yet experienced Costa Rican Couture yet, Mark was still able to
make complex decisions without help. That's when he announced Atlanta's
Fish Market, in Buckhead.

This restaurant came highly recommended by Rachel. The Fish Market embodies
all things fishy, Starting with the huge fish outside. Neeraj had to stay
for another meeting, and would meet us at the restaurant. Therefore, Brian
Hemker received the keys.

Minor Performance Issue #1 - Insert key fob, not key to start the vehicle.
Minor performance issue #2 - Red means STOP
We made it to the hotel - fell out of the daddy van and checked in with
plans to regroup for dinner.
____________________________________________________
Being a part of an employee owned company at times is like being a member
of an extended family. This was quite evident when the check came. Those
who didn't turn to look at Neeraj were looking at Alan, who gave in and
took the check. I'm not sure who's responsible but the silence of sticker
shock was broken when someone muttered, "Who's going to tell Dad? (Bart)"
This question turned the table into a Life Cereal commercial. "I'm not
going to tell him, let Brian tell him. I'm not going to tell him, Neeraj
has a call into him...."
____________________________________________________
Thursday at Roundbox

Thursday we met with our Roundbox counterparts, this included their QA
lead, Amber. After some heavy questioning from Mark, he was able to coax
her into admitting that there really isn't a QA process. She suggested that
we may want to try to initiate some processes.

I figured it was time to lighten the mood, I asked Amber if she giggles in
the airport knowing that she's flying back home to an island paradise while
the vacationers are heading north.

As kindly as she could, she stated that Costa Rica isn't an island. Hoping
to save me from major humiliation she adds - but it has beautiful water on
each side. Have you ever seen a dog perk it's ears and cock it's head when
he doesn't understand? That must have been exactly what I looked like
because I was now surrounded by laptops with different maps of Central
America.

Then, in a slight of hand effort to gauge the intelligence of his test
team, Mark turns to me and asks, "Can you show me where the Panama Canal
is?" I am exceptionally proud to say, "I'm smarter than a fifth grader!"
Once it was determined that all information had been shared, the great game
of Where's Dinner had begun again. For three hours it was, "I don't care,
where do you want to go?" All of us that was except Alan. Alan was
furiously pacing the floor, "Fish Market, Fish Market, Al Al wants Fish
Market.

Neeraj gently took Alan aside and reminded him that one trip to the fish
market will be difficult to explain. Explaining it a second time will land
us in the principal's office without a doubt.

It was finally decided that Mexico was the country of choice. Maitre'd Mark
found Nuevo Laredo Cantina. A "Mexican cafe featuring home cooked Mexican
food." Thursday night the Daddy Van was piloted by Brian, "Lane Change"
Hemker. Shotgun was occupied by Al-Al.

Al-Al is QSI's answer to Tom-Tom. Although the system is in pre-production
testing, we made it to the Cantina with minimal set backs.
____________________________________________________
If polled 95% of those asked would tell you that traffic in Atlanta is
pretty much grid locked at any given time. This situation never once made
Brian (I can move left through 5 lens of traffic within one mile - never
giving it a second thought) Hemker.

The grid lock dexterity has earned Brian the Title of Logistics Leprechaun.
To equate him with Lucky Charms may be a stretch - but if you need an on
time arrival, he's the one you can count on.

Back to Al-Al, who unlike Garmin, only has one voice...Rainman. We think
this became his programmed voice when he was suggesting the Fish Market for
dinner again. One defect in the pre-production model of Al-Al is it's fair
warning setting. Garmin has a fair warning setting of at least a mile, "In
.6 miles, turn left on Northside Blvd NW." Where Al-Al will say, "Turn
Left...you missed it, turn around."

___________________________________________________

When in Mexico, one drinks like a tourist...Pitchers of Margaritas were plentiful (2).

We sat at our table and no sooner had the first butt hit it's chair than the chips and salsa arrived.  We began reading the menu and were doing the thing all ordering groups do, "What are you getting?"  This is basically a sniff test - is anyone going to get something better than what you're getting? 

As it turned out, we each got something different.  Again, we were able to eat minimal chips as our food arrived in what seemed like 10 minutes.  My guess is that there are hidden microphones somewhere and when we think we're just polling the table, our food orders are being sent to the kitchen. 

The food was incredible, so much so that Al-Al has changed his tune.  Now Al-Al wants to meet the Chiquita Banana girl.  Carmen Miranda look out!!  This dinner cannot equal the adventure going home.  First we pass Kroger.  This is where we decided to stop for hair gel. 

M.O.Y.

For awhile now, I thought about keeping a running blog highlighting random acts of kindness that I experience.  Then I made a phone call yesterday and the ensuing exchange of email brought something total different to mind. 

Please forgive me Jeff Foxworthy, but you know you won't become Mom Of the Year when...

• You instruct your son that if someone should ever tell him that his mother wears combat boots to say, "So does my dad and they both ride Harleys."
• Your daughter is practicing her viola for the first time with a bow and you think there's a horrendous car wreck right outside the door.
• When the nurse states that your child should be home recovering from a tonsillectomy for at least 2 weeks and you reply, "Two weeks?  I was walking the day after foot surgery.  She got to sleep for 3 days."

As more of these gems come to mind, I will update the list.

Camping on Kelly's Island

One of the benefits of being a military kid is going to camp.  Many kids get the opportunity to go to summer camp.  Going to summer camp for a week isn't anything special either.  Heck, camping on Kelly's Island in Lake Erie isn't special.  But...

Getting to play hide and seek on the beach with Navy Seals is definitely something that isn't done every day.  That's the back of Sean's head, talking to one of the Seals. 

 

Here are all the Seals answering questions after their Hide and Seek drill with the kids.

 

Sean, can be seen next to the boy in the blue shirt.

The kids were also visited by the ONGB Adjunct General, who dropped from the sky in a Chinook.

Blogs...There are gems out there

First I want to thank my parents, I think they're the only ones who may read my blog, then again perhaps not. Anyway, to spread the love, I must direct you to a gem of an entry on Cake Wrecks.

A Classic

The comments from the readers are just as priceless as the cake. I was going to end this entry with Cake Wrecks, then Columbus Foodie had a new entry, so for my Mother and Father who is learning to enjoy his new ball joint, I present the following blog: http://www.columbusfoodie.com/

Enjoy!!

Sarah post op

The happy face is gone. Promises of ice cream and popcicles could not cheer her up.
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Sarah before

Note the happy face
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Life as we know it

Life, no matter how long you live, will always not be long enough for those who love you.

Make sure that every moment that is available you spend letting someone know how much they mean to you.  Don't ever be the one who says, "But I didn't..."

Sean and the cheerleaders

Sean playing defense

The Buffaloes were ahead by 3 touchdowns so their coach decided to change things up a bit. This allowed Sean (72) to play on the defensive line.

He was a bit disappointed that he didn't make any tackles. I told him that he made some great blocks, to which he replied, "It's defense, I'm suppose to tackle."

Sean, 72 blocking

Sean looking handsome

Sean showing his unending excitement

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OSU Football

Saturday I took Sean to the OSU football game.  Our seats were in Section 14B.  This will be very important prior to the start of the game.  Sean and I were dropped off at Lane and High Street, just north of the heart of campus.  We merged into the mass of scarlet hiking west on Lane toward the stadium. 

We passed a myriad of tailgaters, their setups ran the gamete of sane and affordable to the shear insanity.  Drop the tailgate and pull out the flat screen HD TV that is connected to the satellite dish.  Tailgating is a professional sport for OSU Football fans!

This was my first football game in literally decades.  More that one person told me to be very careful as to what gate I went in so as not to take an unwanted tour of the stadium.  So I was very cognizant of the fact that I wanted to walk into the stadium somewhere near section 14.  In we walked up the stairs - around and around the ramp, until we saw daylight.  The usher asked if we needed help.  Sean replied, "Nope, I've been here before."  I should have known I was in for some excitement then.

We found our seats and settled in for pre-game.  There were a couple of people behind us but we were rather comfortable still.  I noted an old couple walking up the section stairs.  They were sitting in the row behind us.  They sat right next to the couple that was directly in back of us.

This started the conversation.  The young couple thought that their friends were suppose to be sitting next to them, not old couple.  The speculation mumbling finally sparked old lady to say that they have had these same seats for thirty years, young couple #2 were not going to be sitting there.

I was trying not to listen, but the banter was too good to ignore.  Finally old couple convinced young couple that they were in the wrong section and needed to move.  Young couple gets up and moves stating that they were in section 14 and it was the next section to the left.  Section 14...that means Sean and I were in the wrong seat too.  So we got up to move, Sean - the eight year old says, "We're in the right seats mom."

At that point old lady says, "Oops - this isn't section 16."  So they got up and moved.  Young couple comes back and are having a great giggle over the 30 years in the wrong section.  Sean and I settle in when we hear the AC/DC gong.  If you've never seen the players come onto the field for practice, you're missing a great show. 

After the players warm up, the band comes out.  I so wish the drivers in Ohio would watch the precision of the band.  Especially when they have to cross paths.  Every member of the band lets someone who needs to cross through, this keeps traffic moving and no one gets hit.  Traffic though is another rant all together.

The band was spectacular, the team was great and Sean had a wonderful time, what more could I ask for ...short of the USC tickets next year?

IMG00047.jpg

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